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Facebook: To Add or Not to Add?

You meet someone who piques your interest at a friend’s barbecue party. You feel you have so many things in common that it puzzles you why you’ve never crossed paths before. You immediately go online to see if he’s on Facebook. After a few minutes, you track him down. You have one mutual friend. The same friend who invited you to the party. But you really like this person. Should you or shouldn’t you invite them to become your friend?

A lot of us have been in a similar situation, and some of us don’t even think twice before clicking that Add Friend button. I admit I’ve been at the receiving end of unwanted friend requests, and it put me in such an awkward position. I am a nice person, and I don’t want to put people off. But I am a bit selective as to who gets to have a peek at my private life. For me, Facebook is for my family, friends, and colleagues. It is for the one-degree of separation people in one’s life. Not for friends of friends, or friends of some family member. Below is a list of people you should NEVER add on Facebook, unless you are truly, truly, certain they wouldn’t mind accepting the friend request.

1. Your boyfriend’s parents after meeting them a few times

They are polite. They smile at you. But they wouldn’t want to see a thousand of your selfies. Keep a distance between you and them. Believe me, it will work to your advantage.

2. Someone you met once at a party

If you don’t want to appear desperate for friends, then resist the urge to add! If you want to know your “addability factor” then wait for them to seek you out. Of course it would be different if they actually said, “Add me on Facebook.”

3. Your Facebook friends’ friends

I once unfriended a girl I knew after I found out that she had gone to my husband’s FB account, and added some of his friends. It turned out she was a chronic adder – going on to random men’s FB accounts and adding them in the hopes of finding a mate. Delete, delete, delete.

4. That snob you admire from afar

Let’s face it, we are sometimes attracted to people who couldn’t care less if we survived a zombie apocalypse or not. Perhaps their beauty mesmerizes us, clouding our judgment in the process. If they don’t give you the time of day, then they don’t deserve that friend request.

5. Your son’s boss

You don’t add the president of the company where your son works. It just isn’t done that way. If you don’t want your son’s professional life to be in peril, then please don’t click that button!

6. Your professor or dean

It’s different if you have a personal relationship with them, or if they give you the go signal to add them. Otherwise, please don’t do it, lest you run the risk of being rejected, or even worse, getting a “pity add”.

7. The person who already unfriended you

Have you ever found yourself suddenly not friends with someone you’re sure you were friends with? Suddenly, their posts disappeared from your news feed, and you can’t make heads or tails of the situation? Well, you’ve been unfriended, and the best thing you can do is to not send another request. You’re no longer FB buddies for a reason. Just be glad it wasn’t you that burned the proverbial virtual bridge.

8. That extremely gorgeous girl you often see at your favorite cafe

No matter how good looking she is, if you don’t know her personally, then don’t add her. People get turned off by friend requests from strangers. If you don’t want to receive side glances from her and be referred to by her friends as the Starbucks Stalker, then don’t add the hottie!

9. Crazy people

Admit it. We all know people who aren’t all there. They stare blankly at you, or they give you that weird smile that makes your hair stand on end. They are capable of polite conversations, but at the back of your mind you question the state of their mental health. Don’t add them, unless you want to be today’s missing person, and tomorrow’s headline.

If you don’t want to commit a social media faux pas, please, please, please resist the the urge to click! Feel free to add some more in the comments box. 😉

By: Cynthia Yushida

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