No one really wants to see marriage as something that has an expiration date. Everyone who is in a relationship, albeit an imperfect one, still believes in a happily ever after. However, divorce, annulment, and separation are a fact of life.
In the Philippines, the number of annulment cases filed has been on the rise since 2001. In the United States, about 40 to 50 percent of couples divorce, according to the American Psychological Society. People who remarry are even more likely to get divorced.
What does one do when a marriage ends? Below is a list of tips our team has come up with on how to start over whether you are in your 30s, 40s or 50s and beyond.
1. Focus on self-improvement.
Don’t neglect your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that will help you become a better you. Go back to school. Learn a new skill. Perhaps you always wanted to learn how to bake or how to start an online business. Go for it! It will build your confidence and there’s nothing more attractive than someone who is sure of themselves.
2. Financial Planning.Be wise with your money. Know where it goes. Invest it for your and your children’s sake. Money invested wisely now will go a long way. They say it’s best to have more than one source of income. If you don’t know how to go about doing it, seek the help of a professional.
3. Adjust your lifestyle.Don’t be afraid to downgrade. So what if you can’t eat at that fancy restaurant anymore or if you can no longer afford to buy that expensive handbag? Life goes on. Ridding your life of unnecessary things (i.e. material possessions) can be beneficial to you and your kids. Also, be honest with your children. Explain to them the situation and the changes that need to take place. Children are smarter than adults give them credit for.
4. Take a breather. This is the perfect time to have some “me time.” Nurture your relationship with yourself. Meditating and reflecting about your life is the best way to assess where you are and where you would like to be. If you’re a prayerful person, this is also the best time to communicate with God. Also, spend more time with your kids. Now that you are single again, there is no need to take care of another person other than yourself and your children. This is also not the time to rush into another relationship. Give yourself ample time to grieve the relationship that just ended.
5. Travel.There is nothing better than travel to cure a broken heart. Some people travel to find themselves, some to heal themselves, and some just to be alone with themselves. You can go to the beach or join a group of people for a hike. You don’t have to travel far to fix that broken heart of yours.
6. Don’t be a hermit. In a previous post, one of our writers emphasized the importance of socialization. Sulking is for the weak. Go out with your friends and family. Have fun. Make new friends. Soon, the void left by your partner will become smaller and smaller.
7. Be healthy and fit.This is something you don’t just do for yourself but especially for your children. They need someone they can depend on, especially if they are still very young. You have to be able to take care of them and you have to be healthy to be able to do that. Exercise at least 3 times a week. Watch what you eat. Your kids and your body will thank you for it.