In our fast-paced world, gone are the days of women waiting by the window for Prince Charming to come to call on them. The Maria Claras of the bygone era have said “Bye,” and are now gone.
That is not to say that women should conduct themselves inappropriately while in public. But in the ultra-conservative culture that is the Filipino culture, women are expected to behave a certain way. Women must wait for the man to make the first move, to be asked out, to be wooed.
However, if you want to give Cupid’s arrow a nudge in the right direction, then maybe you should try “breezing,” the attitude of a modern, carefree woman who is not afraid to speak her mind and tell that special someone how she truly feels.
This is how actress/dancer Jenna Dewan-Tatum won the heart of her hunky hubby Channing Tatum.
The actor recently contributed an article to Cosmopolitan which is actually a letter to their daughter. In it he writes his hopes for his daughter, and that when she’s old enough to be in a relationship, she shouldn’t have to be afraid to be other than her authentic self, “no matter what she thinks men want her to be.”
The Magic Mike star also revealed the exact moment he knew Jenna was the one. He writes, “I knew our connection was really powerful, but I wasn’t sure what our relationship was going to be. Then one day, Jenna just blurted out that she knew exactly what she wanted in life and she didn’t have to look for it anymore because it was me. She had no idea what I’d say or how I’d react, but that was her truth.”
Jenna breezed. She was just being herself. She wanted to be real and didn’t care how Channing would react.
Perhaps it is easier said than done, especially in more conservative cultures. But being yourself is always the best way to find the man that’s just right for you.
Below are some of the ways women can “breeze” or keep things real.
1. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
Have you ever met someone who pretends to have attended this or that prestigious school? Or someone who fakes an English or Scottish or even American accent? Well, don’t be that person. Pretending to be someone you’re not will only attract the wrong kind of person. Any lie will ultimately be discovered in the end. Are you familiar with the line “Oh what tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive?” Lying only spells trouble, so it’s best to always be your authentic self.
2. Don’t play games.
If you like someone, say so. Or at least give that person a hint that you would like to take the relationship to another level. Perhaps you’ve gone out once and you would like a second date. Maybe you can suggest a new restaurant the two of you can try. Ask him out. If he texts you, text him back. Don’t wait for days because he might have already moved on to another girl by then. Don’t miss your chance at “forever” because you’re too busy playing silly games.
3. Be interesting.
Don’t be a snooze fest. Have an opinion about things, be it politics, current events, the latest dance craze. Tell him about your favorite TV shows, and books you read recently. Maybe give him a hint that you want to check out the latest exhibit at the national museum. Who knows, it just might lead to another date.
4. Tell him your long-term goals without freaking him out.
Without seeming too obvious, tell your date what you plan to do in the future, like with your life and career. Perhaps during the third or fourth date, you can share with him more intimate things. Do you see yourself getting married? Do you see a life with children? Let him know, but don’t freak him out. Be subtle. If he asks you out again, then maybe he wants the same things.
5. Never overshare on a first date.
Some people just don’t have filters and manage to say inappropriate things on a first date. Resist the urge to do so. Breezy doesn’t mean having verbal diarrhea. Be open without seeming vulgar. Your date doesn’t need to know you’re on your period that’s why you’re feeling a little bloated.
6. Let loose.
Relax. Let your hair down. Enjoy your date and he will see that you’re not high maintenance and uptight. Be carefree. Don’t worry about the littlest things. So what if the restaurant ran out of prosciutto and you can’t order your favorite prosciutto and arugula pizza? Show your date that you can make adjustments, and that you don’t have OCD.
Breezy is the way to go. It is a no B.S. way to ensuring that you get the partner you want and deserve.